... Praise the Lord! I finally passed my speedboat test after 3 attempts... Thank the Lord for the clear and calm weather today...

Actually this morning, when over to meet my leader, Wee Leong over at Seng Kang... have a long talk over breakfast and discuss some of the plans for the whole year. What is my focus right now at this point of time. Which aspects of my life I need to improve in or work out wif. Had a wonderful time, sharing my concerns and conditon of my heart. Then we ended of the session with prayer. He also prayed for me on my speedboat test this afternoon without me initating it. Praise the Lord for this man's heart... A person whom I ought to look up to... having to juggling so many things in life... having a loving wife with 2 little beautiful daughters and 1 boy on the way... Yet he is still willing to meet up with me to help me to grow to be more Christ-liked.

Come home straight to have my lunch and a bit of rest before going for the test.

Headed to the test site with a more calm and relaxed heart.

My name was first called... my heart was pumping again... filled in my particluars in the test form and waited anxiously for my 3rd attempt. Climbed down the ladder to the vessel. Do the normal routine equipments and safety checks... Started the engine and loosen the ropes. She was ready to embark to the open sea. I was able to control her. Going to whether direction required. Rescued man overboard was executed brilliantly. However, when I return to park her... the wave from my astern(backside) of her hit hard on her... causing her to bang onto the jetty hard... thanked God it wasn't a collision. If not, I would have to come back for the 4th attempt... ha ha ha.

Overall, my performance was pretty good. Waited for the tester to completed testing the rest of the testee before proceed to the oral test. I did quite ok for it except for some minor mistakes...

"Well done!" , exclaimed the tested and he handle me a A4 form for me to filled my particulars. FYI, if you given a sheet of paper which is half of A4, or I think B5 paper... it means "Please come back again. You need more practise."

My heart was pumping again. This time round is with excitment not with anxiety. Praise the Lord.

Oh yeah need to get my photos taken. Got to sumbit 2 recent photos. Good oso I can used these photos for my renewal fo my licence in June.

One wishlist cancelled out from my list. Now, I can concentrate on my Class 2A licence which I put on hold since last year July. I missed my Traffic Police test, thus failed the test. Need to go and practise on saturdays to familiarise the test route again and all the obstacles courses.

Class 2A here I come...

...having a headache now~! *Argh...!!!* Overworked.. perhaps. Hopeful, this headache will go off before I knock off from work. Want to go down to the IT show later wif some of frens to check out laptops. Contemplating to get one for my studies...

Still think do I need one actually... hmm well, can still go there and see see look look.

Could control my desire anymore... went online and surf to the MOE website to apply for a post in teaching. I tried to apply again this year before my PPT expiry next year Mar. Hopeful I get in this year... If not I will off form to do physical education.

Still have not given up my hope on teaching... even though I know I competing wif a great pool of people rushing into teaching because of job stability.

Seriously, I hope the economy will pick up and people will not going into teaching like 5 years ago. Personally, I quite saddened by the fact that teaching is no longer because of passion rather it's job security.

Recently, talk to my brother in Christ... he just passed his EPT and will be applying teaching too. Dawn, a fellow blogger she oso applied for teaching...

Talking about Dawn, I had the privilege to interact wif tis fine lady over the icq and to my pleasant surprised... she shared wif me alot of common friends. Most of the people she mentioned I know them... izzit scary that S'pore is such a small country that you have some many common friends.

She(Dawn) is one of those gals I noe which loved outdoor sport. Well done, Dawn~!

I used to be an outdoor person... when I was relief teaching. Having quite a tan... enjoying being outdoor. Now I dun have a sun to accompany me... rather lighttube to radiate onto me to give me a perfect white skin... *boring*

Nevertheless, I am still thankful for the Lord for providing me this job... Even since, I left army I din have to look very hard for a job... from relief teaching in my former sch to another sch then to my current job. Hopefully, God will provide me the teaching job this time round to fulfil my dream.

"Class stand~!"

"Good Morning, Mr Tan~!"

"Good Morning, class. Please sit down and turn to page XX of your textbook."

... starting to get bored with my current job... nothing more for me to learn... I guess i'm really not a typical guy who enjoy a desk bounded job... working from 8:30am ~ 6:00pm. Waiting for the money to be banked in, and sit there and be contented.

I still longed to go back to teaching... rushing from classroom to classroom. Never at my desk. Interacting with my students and teaching them... Seeing the current economic situation... I doubt I will be able to get into NIE again. Haiz. Everyone is rushing into teaching because it a golden rice bowl. Not because they a have passionate to teach rather to secure a comfortable figure in their bank account...

Maybe I should try to apply again this year for teaching post. At least there is no harm trying since I have a perm job now... if I get in it will be a bonus, if not I still have my job to fall on to...

New Domain:- Melanie
Newly Plugged:- Euphemia

... Just finished reading an article from the Streats. "Predators on the Web" written by Khushwant Singh. He tried his hands on the Internet Relay Chat, masquerading as Michelle, 15. The moment 'she', typed "GIRL, 15, wants to chat." within seconds 'she' received 8 replies. Aging from the youngest 17 to the oldest 29.

All with hidden agenda... the motive is to get close and personal... physically.

It's is so absurd...!!!

I had tried going to the IRC when I was younger... more for the experience and fun... After a few rounds, I discovered it's not really fun after all...
" ... how do I noe that the person is telling the truth..."

One of my frens commented that is really fun and through that he got himself a girlfriend... I had the opportunity to see his girlfriend once. Quite an attractive gal... but I still doubt do such relationship really bloom from that...

Thus it spells the end of my Internet Relay Chat...

However, I still avid user of ICQ... most of the time, it chatting with people I noe one way or another. There are only a few names which are from overseas... I will delete them after awhile if there isn't anymore communication.

Recently added MSN messager... but I only used it mainly for file transfer.

Overall, I still think face to face communication is the best. Even though our technology has advanced so much that we are just an email or a connection away.

"Hi, I'm Angel from channel Singapore IRC. Are you Takashi20?"

"Huh? I'm sorry you got the wrong person but I'm Ah Boy21. Hey, how about we go for a drink at Mount Faber?"

"Sure."

*Evil sleazy grin*

...weekends are always gone with a blink of an eye. How come weekdays don't happen in such a way... hmph.

Anyway, I still glad that I only have 5 days week. Some others have 5 1/2 days. I ought to count my blessing... which I do. Thank God.

Saturday was one of those dayz, which I am aimless without any activities packed from morning till late... it rarely happened to me... which I think it's gd. I'm always so busy going from one activity to another. Meeting so and so... blah blah blah.

I went home after visiting the open house of ITE Tampines... wah the campus is well facilitied. Similar to that of polytechnic. ITE students those days are no longer backdated... Praise God for that. I felt the taxes payer's money is well spent. At least for my own point of view.

Went home, after pillioning Ah San to his band practise.

Wondering around the house aimlessly. Dun noe what to do, switch on the computer dun noe where to surf to... decided to start exercising... after finishing it still felt something was amiss.

Then a still quiet voice... from back of my head pondered me to take stock of my life... sitting in the living room, reflecting... then God review one sin after another sin that I have not given up. Pride was the root of my refusal to surrender my desires...

I was battling within my mind... "No, God! Anything but not this!","No, this is so unfair... how can you point to me, the thing that is so dear to my half." Just like a little child refusing to hand over the little candy within his hand to his daddy. "You can have my spiderman action figure or my Transformer but not my Papa smurf!"

I realised that everyone of us are one way or another turned to like a little child when we refused to give up certain things in our life...

What an irony~! When I grew older I grew younger in my reasoning sometimes. Anyway, have about 4 hours of praying and struggling... ended off with singing praises and playing the guiter to the Lord till my fingers were numbed.

Yes. I had surrendered them all

Sunday's sermon concides very nicely with what I did on Saturday evening. Pastor David had delivered the message extremely well... it spoken directly to me.... Dun think I can finished typing the whole sermon out...

Basically, God challenged me to give up my life afresh... meaning I have to be vulnerable. Allowing Him to bestow any kinds of trials and temptations in order that I can grow in my character...

For some of you may not understand by such terms... well it's one of those ways my God used to make me grow as a christian. If you have read my testimony, you will understand that I wasn't a goodie two shoes. Instead, I was a vagular brat, a gone case... etc. The Lord had redeem me from the dark pit... to where I am now. Even though, I had turn over a new leaf... there are still many areas in my life need improvement. Year 2003 will be indeed a wonderful and fruitful year for Raymond to grow in his walk with the Lord.

I remembered telling God that I want to develop myself further... I think He remembered my words... in order for me to be a good boyfriend or husband in the future. I need to change to be a more godly man with good character.

Thank God for His timing intervention. I desire the woman of my life to come... but I desire God even more...

Newly plugged Dawn